Recliner Reporters

I know I’m late to the party, but with the MLB All-Star break in full swing — and the Eagles still a week away from camp — here you go.

Apparently, Philly’s finally getting a WNBA expansion team… in 2030. Because, naturally, this city has to wait five more years for a basketball team that might actually know how to finish the job.

But here’s the real question — what are we even calling this team?

Here’s a list of potential names — all better than whatever some marketing team in a conference room full of hoagies and soft pretzels is pitching right now:

• Why? Philly treats that cracked bell like it’s a five-time world champ. Iconic. Easy to market. Instantly Philly.
• Why not? The Sixers have a bell. The Phillies have a bell. If the WNBA team uses a bell, we might as well rename the whole city Belladelphia.

• Why? Rosie the Riveter could flex on half the NBA. Either name works — both scream Philly grit. Plus, during WWII, the Philly Navy Yard had a ton of real-life “Rosie the Riveters” working on ships. A true sleeper pick.
• Why not? Might not have broad appeal… pun absolutely intended. Speaking of….

• Why? Broad Street is the heartbeat of the city. Plus, imagine the headlines: “Broads Take Over Philly.”
• Why not? Feels a little Don Draper. Probably not the message you want for a women’s pro team. This would be like Charlotte getting a team and naming them the Harlots. Funny? Yes. Marketable? Absolutely not.

• Why? Nobody struts like Philly. Could give new life to a New Year’s tradition built on music and culture.
• Why not? Explaining the Mummers to anyone outside Philly? Good luck.

OK, OK—this isn’t actually going to happen, but I heard it and thought it was funny. Shoutout to Crossing Broad for this one. It started as a joke… but 7Sisters 👀

Does it work? Is it too much of a stretch to say it’s a nod to Immaculata University? They did have a women’s college basketball dynasty before UConn, so maybe it’s a subtle tribute to the Sisters there—as well as the 76ers?

Or maybe he meant 7Sistas?

Either way, it’s not happening. Probably a little too religious.

Philadelphia Freedom

• Why? Elton John made it a hit. Philly made it a movement. Bet this song plays before every home game.
• Why not? Sounds like a discount fireworks stand in South Jersey. And fans would hate that song by preseason.

Philadelphia Founders

• Why? This city literally founded the country. You’re welcome, America.
• Why not? Also sounds like a colonial-themed steakhouse with overpriced apps.

Philadelphia Revolution

• Why? Philly’s been starting revolutions since 1776 — political, social, and occasionally in a parking lot after a bad call.
• Why not? New England’s soccer team already took it. But when has Philly ever cared about New England?

Philadelphia Colonials

• Why? History? Check. Swagger? Double check.
• Why not? Feels a little minor league… but so do most Philly front offices lately.

Honorable Mentions

• Philadelphia Charge — Sounds tough. Also sounds like your season ticket invoice.
• Philadelphia Shock — The feeling when a Philly team actually wins.
• Philadelphia Independents — For the hardcore history nerds.
• Philadelphia Quakers  —  Its historical, U of Penn is the Quakers and I think that its not used enough but to name a team after a religion just seem a little off.  

Additionally: Where Will They Play?

Xfinity Mobile Arena

Apparently, this is the plan for 2030. So… they’re fine looking half-empty most nights and risking getting bumped for a concert? It’s a nice arena, sure. The WNBA wants that big-time venue look. But it comes at a price — big rent, and even bigger headaches sharing space with the Flyers and Sixers in a brand-new building.

Why Not the Liacouras Center?

Makes sense. Perfect size. Great atmosphere potential. And let’s be honest — it’d be nice to see some actual basketball in there for once. Plus, with Temple hoops falling flat lately, scheduling won’t be an issue. And I’d bet the rent is a third of Xfinity’s.

Is It a Transportation Thing?

Subway’s right there. Parking garage. Walking distance from the regional rail. The downside? It’s on North Broad — which people think is dangerous (spoiler: it’s not… just don’t be an idiot). The Liacouras Center is on one of the busiest streets in the city and miles from the airport which may not make this ideal for the teams. 

Bonus: The Liacouras Center just got production upgrades and could easily step it up if they landed a WNBA tenant.

Final Thought

No matter what they call this team, Philly fans will show up — because if there’s one thing we love more than winning, it’s booing refs and reminding the world, “We’ve been here since Day 1.”

Just make sure the same people who thought Hip Hop was a good idea aren’t anywhere near this branding.